‘Her behavior has consequences’: The internet backs a woman who didn’t invite her grandmother to the wedding

A woman’s revelation that she doesn’t want to invite her grandmother to her wedding has sparked controversy among netizens. The script was posted by Original Poster (OP) u/Uplifting_armadillo in the popular Reddit group ‘Am I The A**hole?’ where it received over 1,000 upvotes and nearly 500 comments.

In a Reddit post titled “AITAH for saying my 83-year-old grandma can’t come to my wedding?” a 25-year-old girl said she didn’t get along with her grandmother and introduced her grandmother, saying: ‘She had a tough life growing up and is cold to most people, but she has always been vindictive towards me, i’m not entirely sure why but she just takes a dislike to certain people, one of her sons is completely distant from her because of the way she treated him growing up. “

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‘She called me a dirty bitch’

OP continued, “My mum is the oldest and is very sympathetic to her because she witnessed a lot of abuse my grandfather (her husband) put her through and because of that she moved in with her. us when i was 15 and she made my She told me i was the reason my dad died of cancer she called me a dirty bitch ’cause she walked into my room when I was changing and wearing a black bra She said I was the least pretty of my sisters because I looked like my dad on the side of the family and as a teenager I just hated my appearance. She was also extremely racist towards my best friend when she arrived and that was just awful. I felt on edge in my house for years and my mom would get mad at her but she would just cry on his past and my mother would forgive him.”

OP explained that she doesn’t talk much with her grandmother now and that she is happy and satisfied with her new partner and plans to get married soon. “Now my partner and I are engaged and very happy, we have our own home, good jobs and I feel the stability and love helped heal a lot of the trauma I went through. She still lives with my mum. I’m polite when I visit but that’s the extent of our relationship.”

She said: “I had my dress date and picked out a nice dress and I felt really beautiful in it. When I went to visit my mum I was showing her pictures and my mum was appreciative and was gushing out of the dress my grandma had asked to see and I foolishly let her look She smiled and said a girl with my body type could never pull off that dress and said I’d better start dieting.

“I lost my shit”

OP raged saying, “I lost my shit. I basically told her she wouldn’t have to worry about my dress because she’s not welcome at my wedding. My mom tried to calm me down but they just started with her and said she let me down allowing her to treat me like crap all my life, i stormed out and went home. reaction from my family is mixed, my sisters and my partner have been very supportive and even though they think i shouldn’t have shouted, they agree with me that it’s my wedding and i can choose who I invite. My mother and her six other siblings think I was completely out of commission. They said my wedding would probably be the last my grandmother attends, so I’m not allowed to take away from her.”

The message concluded: “I feel like I could have handled the situation with a lot more maturity, but if someone else had made the comment, I sure would have, but I just thought. felt triggered and it reminded me of everything she had said to me over the years. AITAH?

“She needs to stop playing the victim”

Nearly 500 people left comments on the post, all supporting the OP. One user commented, “NTA (Not The A**hole). She chose to act disrespectful to you. Yes, she suffered a lot of abuse and terrible things that could explain her behavior…but she needs to stop playing the victim and use it as a shield for being so mean to you. It’s your wedding and you can invite whoever you want. If she wants to come to your wedding, then we’ll have to let her know that his behavior has consequences.

“She is clearly very triggering for you”

Another agreed, “NTA Imo (in my opinion) she’s clearly very triggering for you so I’m surprised she was invited in the first place. Putting your sanity first on what will be a very fast day and busy , is not only reasonable, but also necessary Note, take time to enjoy your wedding, otherwise it goes by too fast and you think you haven’t had a chance to take it and enjoy it. enjoy it. Congratulations and good luck.

“A difficult life does not excuse shitty behavior”

A third said: “NTA. I’m so sick of people saying, ‘But you shouldn’t have shouted.’ This woman has taken every opportunity to be cruel to you for a gigantic span of your life, and she chose to be mean to you at a very special time.Your limit has been reached, and this is happening because you are human. To those who say you should have been more mature… how about your mother was mature when you were a child and defended her own daughter! You’re right that she let you down. A life difficult doesn’t excuse shitty behavior. Being your grandmother doesn’t mean you have to put up with her mistreating you. If your mom and siblings want to do it, that’s their prerogative. Don’t be surprised if some of them don’t show up for the wedding, but honestly, I don’t think that’s a big loss. Your marriage isn’t your grandmother’s ‘right’.”

“She’ll do anything to ruin your day”

Another Redditor said: “NTA. Ever since your father died, your grandmother has used her past trauma as an excuse to verbally and emotionally abuse you. She had the ability to be at least neutral when she showed the photo of the dress, but she had to be cruel. Good for you to stand up to her. You have every right to a perfect marriage, surrounded by people who love and support you. Your grandmother is not one of them. , and you know, if you invite her over, she’ll do something to ruin your day. I sincerely hope you have the wedding of your dreams!”

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